Non-Verbal Signals
Hard to believe that a sixth of the year is in the books already. I used to think that as I got older, the days got longer but the years were shorter. Now, I just think TIME is going too fast.
I promised to write something today about body language and first impressions. With everything that has happened over the last 2+ years, Zoom calls and virtual meetings have become the widely accepted means of conducting business. In spite of being necessary, so much has been “lost in translation”, and in particular, how to read body language and how to truly interpret the way a message is received. When you’re face-to-face, there are subtle and significant cues you can read to help you.
Have you ever found yourself daydreaming or preoccupied with reading email, paying online bills, building PowerPoint decks, or making grocery lists while you’re on a Zoom call? I guarantee your customers have! Who’s been guilty of turning off their “video” on a Zoom call, just to walk away and get some coffee, go to the bathroom, greet the UPS guy for a delivery, or even just take out the garbage because you’re bored? You wouldn’t do that in person!
Video calls have given people a license for some pretty bad behavior and I would encourage you to get back to face-to-face meetings as often as you can. There is a science to reading body language. Not only can it help you understand your audience, but just as importantly, it assists you in connecting-the-dots with them and eliminates any assumptions you might make about whether you’re on the same page.
Positive cues you want to exhibit:
Firm handshake or fist bump (new normal), with eye contact
Leaning forward with good posture
Maintaining solid eye contact
Head nodding in concert with your head nods (this is called mirroring)
Smiling
Being present – resist distractions
Avoid clock watching
Engaging and ask questions, especially of other people in the room, drawing their opinions
Leaving your phone alone! Turn it upside down
Negative cues you want to avoid:
Looking disinterested
Folding or crossing arms (body is closed)
Staring off into space, looking bored
Sitting expressionless
Constantly checking your phone
Fidgeting or looking uncomfortable
Having a side discussion that has nothing to do with the meeting content
Laughing at the expense of the presenter
Yawning or closing your eyes
Subconsciously shaking your head in disagreement
Rolling your eyes
Tactics you can try to recapture your audience, realign or to re-establish trust:
Stop, back away from the slides, admit you’re losing the audience and ask “Help me understand what you don’t agree with”
In a small meeting, “Tell me where I lost you” or “I can see I’m falling off track here so help me get back on the rails”
If there is an executive that CLEARLY does not want to be in the meeting, one tactic I have tried is giving him/her a “get out of jail free card”:
“I may have overreached here by including you in this meeting, and it might be premature. I know you have a ton on your plate. What I can do is first present to Jack and Jill, and if they think this has merit and I’ve garnered their support, follow up with you at another time to share the details” – Often times, by showing the executive a high level of respect, you’ve earned their undivided attention.
The pandemic has inadvertently instilled a lot of bad habits that will take some time for people to break, inn particular, in physical meetings. You need to be very self-aware to avoid making these mistakes. Internally or externally, you’ll be making a lot of “first impressions” again so be aware of how you represent yourself and your company.
Finally, please take note of how you dress, how you’re groomed and your breathe. It may seem trivial and inconsequential, and maybe I just represent an older generation that valued these things, but I always viewed them as a performance baseline. If you look sloppy, can I really trust you with my business? Having minty fresh breathe isn’t a lot to ask, is it?
You are an extension of your company, and in many cases, you may be the only representative of your firm that the client ever meets. When they think of your company, they will think of YOU! Therefore, you have a responsibility and an obligation to represent your company in the most professional and positive light possible. I’ve met thousands of people in my professional career and while I can’t remember the moment I met all of them, there are the rare few that have left an indelible negative stain. I can tell you the time, place and events surrounding the really bad first impressions. The unorganized guy. The bad breathe guy. The spinach in his teeth guy. The sweaty-palm, limp handshake guy. The “I read email throughout your entire presentation” guy.
Don’t be “THAT” guy!
