Don’t be Afraid to be Vulnerable
Over my 35 year career in Silicon Valley, I’ve seen my fair share of challenges. One of the most crucial aspects of my career, and life in general, was understanding and embracing vulnerability at work. In my early days as a young executive, vulnerability was something I saw as a sign of weakness. I believed that showing any cracks in my armor would diminish my authority and the respect of my colleagues, not to mention put doubt in the minds of my leadership around my capabilities. However, as time went on, I realized that vulnerability, when approached in the right way, can be a powerful tool for personal growth, team cohesion, and leadership effectiveness.
Early in my management career, global economic conditions were starting to shift against us and the success we’d had for the last couple years were clearly not going to repeat. Four months earlier, Hewlett Packard and my leadership team had approved my proposal to double the size of my team from 10 to 20 people (and double the quota!), and I was feverishly trying to interview and hire more sales people. I was becoming very concerned that my team would not be able to deliver the results that the company expected. During this time, I consulted with my key people and best performers to get their input. I shared with them my fears and the possible ramifications if we proceeded forward with hiring AND what the impact might be if I declined the investment and didn’t accept the funding. After 2 years of great success and making a lot of money, the team members had a lot of challenging questions for me. “How would this impact their jobs and responsibilities? How much would quotas increase? Would layoffs follow if we weren’t seeing continued success, and how much rope did we have to get business turned on with the new guys? And on and on….”
I then approached my boss who intently listened to my concerns over team expansion. To his credit, he listened carefully, asked all the right questions, poked holes in my assumptions and explained the pros and cons of refusing the funds. He was extremely understanding and would support whatever decision I made. In the end, I decided to only add 3 headcount at that time, a conservative compromise. Even though 5 of the 13 sales reps did not make quota that year, the team achieved their goal even with the 30% increase in quota. I don’t think we would have enjoyed that degree of success with more people.
What this experience showed me was two-fold:
By sharing my concerns with my original team members, they understood I was looking out for their best interests, it unified the team, created a heightened level of team transparency and trust and it made each of them invested in team success.
By being vulnerable with my boss, we established an even higher level of trust. He explained that few young managers would turn away investment. Young managers are always interested in “empire building” and increasing the size of their teams and authority. By sharing my concerns, he knew I put HP ahead of my own career path and he could trust me with bigger decisions.
Being transparent and vulnerable can be effective tools as a leader. It opened the door to honest conversations and allowed employees to share their fears and concerns. It humanized me in their eyes, showing that I was not just an executive but a leader who cared about their well-being. We collectively brainstormed alternative scenarios and it felt like a shared effort rather than a top-down directive. This experience taught me that vulnerability in leadership doesn't weaken authority; it strengthens trust and collaboration.
In the years that followed, my understanding of vulnerability deepened, and I started to implement it more consciously in my leadership style. I realized that showing vulnerability was not about exposing your weaknesses but about acknowledging that you are human. It's about admitting when you don't have all the answers, seeking input from your team, and learning from your mistakes.
One of the most impactful aspects of vulnerability in the workplace is its ability to foster a culture of open communication. As a leader, I’ve always encouraged my team to speak up about their challenges and concerns. I shared my own struggles and failures, which created an environment where employees felt safe to do the same. This led to increased problem-solving and innovation, as people were more willing to take risks and be creative when they knew their vulnerability wouldn't be met with criticism.
Furthermore, vulnerability plays a crucial role in building genuine connections within the workplace. As someone who values family and relationships, I saw firsthand how vulnerability can strengthen the bonds between team members. When people share their personal stories and challenges, they become more than just colleagues; they become friends who support each other both inside and outside the office.
In the tech industry, where innovation is key, vulnerability can be a catalyst for breakthrough ideas. I often reminisced about my days playing high school sports, where teamwork and trust were paramount. Just like on the football field or baseball diamond, successful teams in the tech world rely on their members being open about their strengths and weaknesses. It's through this vulnerability that you can assemble a team that complements each other, working together like a well-oiled machine.
Vulnerability at work or at home is not a sign of weakness; it's a testament to your strength and authenticity. It's a bridge to better communication, stronger connections, and a more innovative and collaborative workplace. My journey from a young executive who saw vulnerability as a threat to a retired leader who embraced it as a powerful tool for growth has shown me that it's a quality that can transform not only the workplace but also the lives of those who practice it.
So, my advice to anyone, whether you're a retired tech executive like me or just starting your career, is this: Don't be afraid to show your vulnerability. It's a quality that can turn challenges into opportunities and colleagues into a close-knit family, just like my own. Embrace it, and you'll find that the path to success is not paved with invulnerability but with the courage to be your authentic self.
